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So before I review this trailer, I have to confess something. I’ve never seen any Star Wars movie, I’ve never watched the Clone Wars cartoon, or played Star Wars: The Old Republic, or read any of the expanded universe books, so I’m basically stumbling into this franchise blind.

Or am I? Because Star Wars is so well-known, you don’t have to have seen the movies to know stuff like Darth Vader is Luke’s father, Luke and Leia are siblings, and that Jar-Jar sucks.

Still, the trailer was pretty epic, and I’m really psyched for the movie. It’ll be great, but will it be the movie of 2015? Will it be even bigger than Jurassic World?


Anyways, so the trailer starts with this guy.

He appears to be exploring some kind of abandoned ship or something like that. Then we get a girl, and this robot thing walking through the desert.

Then we get her face and hey, she’s not too bad looking. She's not on the same level as say...Mila Kunis, but she's not bad.


We also get a shot of these stormtroopers.

One of them removes his mask, and talks about how he’s got nothing to fight for, before this ship crashes onto a planet, and then, a shot later, we get him walking through the desert. Is he supposed to be a former stormtrooper or something?

Now time for the bad guys. Aww yeeeaaah! I’ve heard about how some Star Wars fans root for the Empire, I’m not even a fan, and I think these guys look so cool. Seriously, look at them.

They’re talking about how no one’s gonna stop them. I have no idea who they are (I mean, I do recognise the smashed up Darth Vader mask but I don’t know who the other guy is), but they are talking about how no one’s gonna stop them.

Next we get some really amazing visuals that completely blew my mind. I’m so excited for this movie, I’d watch it for the bad guys and the kickass battle scenes.

Now, we’re back to the two leads we just saw.

We’re halfway through the trailer and before I continue, I know there was some controversy surrounding the trailer, it was criticised for being “anti-white,” there was a boycott Star Wars hashtag campaign on Twitter, but given from what I heard, it was just something a bunch of trolls started to rustle some SJW jimmies (they’ve succeded, that’s for sure), and I didn’t see any “anti-white” sentiment in the trailer. Believe me, I’ve spent enough time on r/Tumblrinaction, r/TIADiscussion, and r/SocialJusticeInAction to know what that looks like.

I’ll wait until after the movie to decide whether the black guy is a genuinely likable character or just blatant pandering to SJWs who like cancer, have spread all over the Internet to every fandom and subculture you can think off.

So then, this epic music comes on, and we get this guy in a mask holding a lightsaber that also caused some controversy.

I have to admit that does look a bit ridiculous, but hey, I thought the idea of a genetically engineered Indominus rex was ridiculous too, now I’m all about the Indomnius, and I was even a little sad when the T-Rex, Mosasaur and Blue the velociraptor defeated it. Who knows, maybe after this movie, I’ll end up liking that lightsaber.

Then, we get more awesome battle scenes, followed by an explosion.

Holy shit, that looks amazing. Net shot we have…oh my god, is that R2-D2?

Now, we got all these stormtroopers, and a bad guy (at least I think it’s a bad guy, only the bad guys have red lightsabers, right?) taking out that lightsaber. Whether you like it or not, you have to admit, this does look pretty cool.

We the get a shot of Chewbacca and…Han Solo?

Then, more epic battles.

Oh man, I can’t wait, the trailer’s got me so hyped. Seriously, not even the Jurassic World trailer had this effect on me, but will this movie be bigger than Jurassic World?

Profit wise? Probably, the Star Wars franchise is more…how should I put this…profitable than the Jurassic Park one. Just look at their box office stats.



And that’s not even getting into merchandising. I’ve seen all kinds of Star Wars stuff, lunchboxes, T-shirts, mugs, headphones…you name it, but not a lot of Jurassic Park stuff (excluding toys), I couldn’t even find a T-shirt at my local Hot Topic.

But we all know that profit doesn’t equal a good movie, otherwise Michael Bay wouldn’t be so hated. So will Star Wars: The Force Awakens be better than Jurassic World? I’m on the fence about this one. On one hand, the trailer really impressed me, on the other hand, I’ve learned to not judge a movie by its trailer (otherwise movies like Crimson Peak and The Amazing Spiderman 2 wouldn’t have been a disappointment, don’t get me wrong, The Amazing Spiderman 2 isn’t a bad movie, even though the trailer was better than the actual movie, it didn’t need a fucking reboot…all right, I’m going off topic).

Right now, I will stand my ground that Jurassic World will be the movie of 2015. Sorry Star Wars, your trailer impressed me, but I’m still a Jurassic Park fan at heart, and until I actually see the movie, I won’t consider changing my mind.