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Meme: Turn ons vs. Turn offs.

Saw this meme on Deviantart. Feel free to use it.

Turn on = ON
Turn-off = OFF
Doesn't matter = DM

Has a nice butt: On

Plays musical instrument: On

Is taller than you: DM

Is shorter than you: On

Has green eyes: DM

Has blue eyes: On

Blue eyes are sexy as hell (especially when it’s combined with pale skin and dark hair, though it goes just as well with blonde and red hair), it’s the prettiest eye colour if you ask me.

Has brown eyes: DM

Has black eyes: DM

Though I don’t think true “black eyes” exist for humans, unless you’re talking about black eyed kids. If you look closely, it’s really just a dark shade of brown.

Has hazel eyes: DM

Has long hair: On

I absolutely love a girl with long hair. Anything a few inches below the shoulder’s good for me.

Has med. hair: DM

Has short hair: Off

Drinks alcohol: DM

Unless they’re alcoholics, then it’s off.

Smokes weed: Off

Has blond hair: On

Gentlemen love blondes. ;)

Has brown hair: DM

Has black hair: DM

Has red hair: ON! Fucking on!

I have a thing for redheads. Red hair on a girl is sexy as hell if you ask me. And by red hair, I mean natural red hair (see below)


not Poison Ivy red (see below).


That’s not an easy look to pull off in real life, sure, girls in video games, anime and cartoons can rock bright red hair, but often times in real life, or any live-action media for that matter, often times it just ends up making you look too scene or hipster, and that’s a turn off for me.

Though, if you do manage to get it right...

then yeah…it’s a turn on.

Calls you just to say hi: DM

Creative: On

Compliments you: On

Shaves his/her legs: On

Better put shaves her armpits there too. If she doesn't shave it's an automatic turn-off, if she doesn't shave because "herp derp, muh feminism" then I'd be even more turned off. Being a feminist is an automatic turn off itself...unless she's a sane, intelligent feminist like Christina Hoff Sommers who's willing to debate and have rational discussions instead of crying "muh soggy knee," whenever facts prevail over narrative, but in this age of trigger warnings, speshul snowflakes being offended by reality itself, being a victim, shutting down free speech and favouring feelings over facts, people like that might as well be unicorns.

Wears jewellery: On

Has bigger feet than you: DM

Has smaller feet than you: DM

I do not have a foot fetish, so feet doesn’t matter to me.

Belly piercings: Like a belly button piercing?


On, as long as she's got the flat stomach for it.

Doesn't party: DM

Likes to party: DM

Wants to party: DM

If it’s once in a while, it’s fine, if it’s overdoing it, like going out to a club on Tuesday and staying out till say…2 AM, then it’s a turn off.

Laughs a lot: On

Funny: On

Skinny: ON! Fucking on!

Though curvy is good too. And here's what I mean when I say "curvy."

Fatties are an automatic turn off, fatties who preach that healthy at every size bullshit are even more so, and no amount of whining about "muh curves" and "muh body positivity" will change that.

That's not to say I hate fat people, I'm saying I'd never go out with one.

Rides a street bike: DM, but if she looks hot on a bike...

It's on.

Tattoo: DM

Unless she has too much, then it's a turn off.

Honest: On

How can honesty be a turn off?

Open: Too vague, can’t answer.

Open about what? Trying new things? Opening herself to me? Open relationships?

Shy and quiet: On

I am shy when it comes to new people (though I have been improving and it's gotten a lot better), and I do prefer interacting with people like me, so that would definitely be a turn on.

Licks lips: On

Lightly bites: On

Talks dirty: ON!

Leaves you random comments: DM

I don't mind a girl leaving me cutesy Facebook comments, as long as she doesn't end up looking like the overly attatched girlfriend.

Competes with you on stupid little stuff: DM

Dresses Gangster: Off

I'm not into hood rats.

Dresses Preppy: On

I do dress rather...preppily in real life. My closet's full of polo shirts, and I do love Lacoste and Tommy Hilfiger, the latter's my go to store for shirts (polo and button down).

Dresses Skater: DM

Dresses Athletic: DM

Dresses Hick: Like a...redneck you mean?

On. I love a girl in daisy dukes and boots.


As long as she can pull it off.

Smokes cigarettes: Off

Does pills: Off

Plays sports: On

I love a girl who does sports to stay fit.

Can skate: DM

Writes lyrics: DM

Smiles a lot: On

If she has a nice smile, I'd like to see it.

Has Good Teeth: On

Has spiky hair: Off

Never saw a girl who could pull off spikey hair.

Has no hair: Off

Good dancer: On

Especially since my dancing is shit.

Muscles: Off

I'm not into female bodybuilders.

Laid back: On

Plays guitar: On

Plays drums: DM

Raps: If she can do it well, I'd be impressed, and it'd be a turn on. If she sounds like another Nicki Minaj, then it's an off.

Can draw: DM

If she can, it's an on!

Has a lip ring: Off

Not into facial piercings, sorry.

Has a tongue ring: Off

Nipples pierced: .DM

Hugs you: On

Hugs from behind: On

Calls you just to hear your voice: Off

Calling me to say hi is fine, as long as you don't do it too often, that just sounds really clingy, sorry.

Goes to church: DM

If she wants me to go to church with her, it's also a DM.

Can do stuff with his/her tongue: On ;)

Has dimples on his/her face: On

Has facial hair: OFF!

And that's my list of turn ons and turn offs.

Did I trigger you for daring to have preferances? If I did, too fucking bad. I don't apologise when I've done nothing wrong. I think my list was pretty damn reasonable, everyone has things that turn them on/off, SJWs who think that a guy having preferences or a type is a form of "muh soggy knee" or some sort of "oppreshun" but a girl can have them can go fuck themselves.  


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Jul. 29th, 2016 11:15 pm (UTC)
I've dealt with such people before, even on das_sporking the very comm I was banned from. In one of my MSTs, I called the protagonist a "little bitch" and someone got triggered and told me not to use it, as it's a word that degrades women, I did not apologise, and I merely told her to stop being offended. That resulted in that MST being cancelled, and another time, someone got offended by a userpic I had that contained the word canon rape, and I didn't apologize then either, I changed it however, and then told the triggered trigglypuff to get over it, as that word was used on the Internet to describe bad fanfiction, long before I started using it. That was the one that made gehayi say "ok that's enough, you can't MST here anymore." Thankfully, I haven't dealt with them on das_sporking but I know people who get offended over dating preferences exist, don't you dare tell them they're not your type, or they don't meet your standards; don't you dare say you're not into for example...fatties, or else they'd break out the muh soggy knees card.

I just put that part about "being triggered" there for those people, in case they stumble upon this, get triggered, and play that card on me, in which case they can piss off.

Edited at 2016-07-29 11:16 pm (UTC)
Jul. 30th, 2016 06:08 am (UTC)
Pretty sure the complaint about calling the protagonist a little bitch was actually based on the fact that she's a kid.

And trust me, I doubt anyone will stay reading your journal after a brief glance. You act like a petulant child who's just been told 'no'. And it's ironic because you get offended over people being offended.
Jul. 30th, 2016 06:40 pm (UTC)
You read my journal, Enoby.

You act like a petulant child who's just been told 'no'.

How so?

PS--I don't really take offence to anything. I'm a part of a clan on Runescape, we're not politically correct clan, I've seen people say stuff that would be considered "racist" and "anti-semitic." I've said stuff that would be considered "transphobic," "white supremacist," and "islamophobic," and I've had people tell gay jokes about me and an NPC in-game. But none of us bat an eye at it, none of us take offence, and none of us got banned.

Edited at 2016-07-30 06:56 pm (UTC)
Jul. 31st, 2016 07:26 am (UTC)
Enoby? What? I'm not sure who you think I am, but please stop guessing. I'm a longtime lurker, don't even have an account.

And you don't like it when people tell you that what you've said to them hurts them, or is offensive. You're way of coping is to jump on the defensive and blame the victim for being hurt. Like if you hit someone with your car when they were walking down the sidewalk 'it's their fault, officer, for walking. They should stop bitching, and I'm not gonna apologize.' You get offended when someone says that you're in the wrong.

And last I checked, Runescape was full of thirteen year old boys who think that making offensive and tasteless jokes made them 2cool5u and comedic geniuses.
Aug. 2nd, 2016 02:38 pm (UTC)
Runescape full of 13 year old kids? I'm sorry, is this 2016 or 2007?

Anyways, I'm sick of generation snowflake, the trigger warning, microagressions, victim culture generation getting offended every so often at pretty much everything, my response to that is grow a thicker skin, stop being such a pussy, because frankly, I've had enough.

Edited at 2016-08-02 02:40 pm (UTC)