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Das Sporking is Cancer

Verdict's here. I'm...

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Das Sporking Mods Are Cancer

(WARNING: The following posts contain possibly controversial content. Vower excretion is advised).

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So before I review this trailer, I have to confess something. I’ve never seen any Star Wars movie, I’ve never watched the Clone Wars cartoon, or played Star Wars: The Old Republic, or read any of the expanded universe books, so I’m basically stumbling into this franchise blind.

Or am I? Because Star Wars is so well-known, you don’t have to have seen the movies to know stuff like Darth Vader is Luke’s father, Luke and Leia are siblings, and that Jar-Jar sucks.

Still, the trailer was pretty epic, and I’m really psyched for the movie. It’ll be great, but will it be the movie of 2015? Will it be even bigger than Jurassic World?

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...here's a scene from my upcoming Runescape fanfiction (I don't know what to title it yet), that takes place after The Light Within, but before the Lord of Vampyrium. Like most of my Runescape fanfics, it starrs my character, Bryce. But unlike anything I've written before, it's more explicit, as in it's...sexier than anything I've done before. I've writen stuff where characters drop the f-bomb every chance they get when they're angry/stressed, I've written stuff with detailed torture scenes (*cough* my Percy Jackson fanfic that I haven't updates in ages *cough*) but I've never written anything like this.

And by "sexy," I don't mean that this scene contains hardcore literary porn. I just mean that it's like an NC-17 or an R rated movie, not hardcore porn but much more explicit than your average PG-13 movie; in other words, it's got lime rather than lemon. But it is my first time writing lime and if I fucked up, I didn't want to wait until reading the comments after I posted it on DA to find out that I missed my mark and it ended up being hilariously bad/cheesy/stupid/creepy/cringey rather than sexy, so I decided to post the opening snippet here to you, my test audience (and eventual actual audience when the fic comes out I guess).

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How was that? Does it make you uncomfortable, or are you like "meh, this is nothing" or are you faceplaming at how much I failed?

Whatever it is, leave your comments down below. As usual, feedback is highly appreciated.

Banned From Das Sporking

Yeah, you read that correctly, I'm banned from das_sporking

This journal should've been done sooner. Like really sooner. Like back in October of 2014. But every time I try to write about it, all the anger, frusteration, resentment (amongst other negative feelings) take over, making me too sad to write, an experience not unlike PTSD.

How did this happen, you wonder. I should explain.

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Your OC SUCKS! #1: Koemi Uchimaki

Welcome to Your OC Sucks, a brand new segment here on my LJ, where I rip apart shitty OCs (basically fan characters made for roleplay or written stories) I’ve encountered on DeviantART, Tumblr, Fanfiction.net or some other place. They can be from any fandom I’m involved with. Today’s OC on the cutting table is this chick…

Naruto and Sasuke's daughter ladies and gentlemen.
(credit goes to Coringo-Shade for the character and Bases-Xs for the base)
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50 Shades of Grey Film Review

It’s only the middle of March; 2015 is still young, there’s going to be more movies released this year. Some of them will just be good, others will be incredibly awesome and/or highly anticipated (Avengers: Age of Ulton, anyone?), and some will be god-awful. It’s not fair for me as a critic to say that Fifty Shades of Grey is the absolute, worst film of 2015…but holy shit, am I tempted to say that.

Yes, that’s right. Yours truly has spent about $15 on a movie ticket to suffer through this two hour TwiFail smutfic so you don't have to. Be grateful.

Anyways, this movie managed to be even worse than the fucking Twilight movies, which is a pretty unbelievable accomplishment, considering how horrible they were. At least Twilight had some unintentionally funny moments (sparkling vampires, Edweird trying to commit suicide by sparkling, sparklepires playing baseball etc.), 50 Shades of Epic Fails doesn’t even manage that. All the unintentionally funny moments from the book (like the "inner goddess") were not included.

Without further ado, let’s dive into this pile of cinematic excrement, shall we?

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The GIF Challenge

I was tagged by charlie2cute.

Rule 1: Always post the rules.
Rule 2: Answer the questions the person who tagged you asked with gifs, and write 11 new ones or don’t, whatever. ~
Rule 3: Tag 11 people and link them to the post.
Rule 4: Actually tell them you tagged them. (Does the tagging counts as telling? xd They'll see if they are tagged.

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